This is my favorite dance. You probably know it too.

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LYRICS:

This is the dance

That makes everybody dance

It’s called… The peer pressure dance.

This is how you do it
Listen closely

Keep your arms at your sides.
if you have pockets, put your hands inside of them.

Bend your knees to the beat, and lightly bop your head. Try to find the delicate balance between not moving so much that you stand out, while also not standing completely still, which also makes you stand out.

An expert at this dance will completely disappear, like a ninja. Or Harry Potter, when he puts on his invisibility cloak. Or your neighbors cat that you ran over last week… I’m sorry Misses Pemberton, I don’t know where your cat is, I swear.

If someone at the party makes eye contact with you, smile and slightly exaggerate your movements. Oh yeah, you love this song!
As soon as they look away, go back to barely moving. You had a long day at your successful job, and now you’re unwinding in a natural way, like a normal person.

If people start singing along to the song, silently lip-synch the lyrics. If you don’t know the lyrics, quickly pull out your phone and act like you have something going on that’s way more important than singing this song.

If someone manages to notice that you’re doing the peer pressure dance, don’t worry… Recent studies show that 98% of all people who are invited to parties by their extroverted friends do this dance, so you have nothing to feel guilty about…

Like the guilt you feel for Mrs. Pemberton‘s cat. it just ran out in front of you, you had no time to react! What were you supposed to do?! Sure you were scrolling through Instagram at the time, but who doesn’t do that? Seriously! Name one person who hasn’t done that! If this is anybody’s fault, it’s Mrs. Pemberton‘s, who lets their cat outside on a crowded street?! You should just tell her… Or, you should go to the animal shelter and find a cat that looks exactly like her cat and give it to her and say that you found Sprinkles. She’ll never know the difference, and she might even give you some money! Of course you’re not doing it for the money, you’re doing it to make Mrs. Pemberton happy!…

And you’re doing it so you can sleep at night without nightmares of miss Pemberton watching as her precious cat gets crushed under your tires. Watching its head pop like a grapefruit under a sledgehammer. Oh.. oh gosh there’s blood everywhere! There’s so much blood! I tried to give it CPR but, there’s no mouth… THERES NO MOUTH!!

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Hello DDR’s (Dedicated Description Readers)!

I am in Nashville with my brother. I am flying to Boston tomorrow for a show. It’s currently 4:57 in the morning and I am texting this description to Claire, so that she can paste it under the video that she just edited! We are both tired but neither of us can sleep because we have too much work to do… I hope you enjoy this stupid video to this stupid song. We had fun making these stupid songs, but nobody listens to them or cares about them so we probably won’t be making any more stupid songs.

Instead, we decided to make a five nights at Freddy’s song with our friend Kevin, who plays Freddy in the new movie coming up! We’re really happy with the song and can’t wait for you guys to hear it!

Also, after Boston, we are flying to Los Angeles to record a music video with The Living Tombstone! I don’t know how much I can say about that, so just keep an eye on his channel for it!

OK, I’m going to close my eyes and pretend to sleep until I convince my brain to actually sleep. I love you. so much. I miss you. Why don’t you cuddle me anymore?

~Gabe